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Profile:
My cricket interest started at primary
school playing ‘Kwik-Cricket’ with the distinctive blue equipment. I
joined the Home of Cricket, HCC, at the age of 11 under the watchful
eye of cricketing legend Mr Pickford, who taught me everything I
know.
Together Arnie Sidebottom and Mr Pickford developed me into a
bowler, as at an early age my batting skills seemed limited. I
quickly developed into a quick junior bowler whose out-swinger could
unlock any batsman’s defence. Due to jealousy, I quickly came under
scrutiny for having a “dodgy action” but I shrugged this off as many
of the world’s best bowlers have had this abuse, Muralitharan, Brett
Lee, Shoaib Akhtar etc etc. I was however No-balled 3 times in one
match by a Guiseley Umpire at u15 level, but the less we say about
Guiseley the better.
I made my Dales Council 3rd team debut at the age of 14 and this is
when I developed my fielding abilities, because woe betide if you
weren’t walking in or dropped a catch when Graham Bowden was
bowling, as failing to pay attention was often punishable by death.
I overcame my ‘he chucks it’ critics and in my final u17 season I
won the junior Bowling averages pipping fellow chuckmeister J.Haigh
to the spoils. That season I also picked up a 7-37 for the 2nd Team.
It had also been noted that my batting ability had improved
exponentially but I had still never made a 50.
The following season I made it into the 1st XI as an up and coming
premier fast bowler, although due to poor man-management by the
captain I rarely got a bowl apparently due to lack of experience, as
“trying to bowl as fast as I can” sometimes resulted in being
despatched. It was however this season when I came close to my 1st
50, a very quick fire 42 after being bumped up to number 3 due to a
holiday flight.
HCC’s bowling attack was to take a severe blow for the next few
season, as over-bowling and sheer strain through rapid bowling and
“other recreational activities” meant that I had shafted my
shoulder. I continued to bowl at university achieving leading and
2nd leading wicket taker in consecutive season. But it was in 2002
when I made my first 50 for the 2nd team at Colton kissing my bat
and pointing it at “my current girlfriend.” The rewards….a great
nosh that night….the cons….ridicule from team mates that has haunted
me for seasons.
I won the 2nd team batting averages in the 2003 season annoying the
miserbale sour faced Graham Fletcher in the process, who constantly
whinged about how I was playing for the averages by getting constant
red inkers.
Season 2006 has been my 1st full season since uni, but a poor form
with a bat has resulted in only 2 decent scores, an 87 in the 2nd’s
(p.b) and a 71n.o from 43 balls against local scum Hall Park and
also my maiden 1st XI 50.
Despite all this nonsense, I am known more famously for my
outlandish dress sense, scribbling scores on the back of my bat,
having a 100% record in all HCC darts competitions, offering sweets
with a cheeky smile, pending fatherhood, appearing on the ‘Price is
Right’ and having occasional arguments with Karen Monks.
Hopes for the future include; scoring runs regularly at 1st team
level, bringing my lad to HCC and hopefully, one day, finding
someone who might be good enough to take away my HCC darts champion
crown.
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